Top 10 Secrets to a Happy, Lasting Marriage-
Adv. Ramesh D. Chheda
Having a happy marriage doesn’t necessarily come
easily just because you love each other. While love is very important in
a marriage sometimes it just isn’t enough and you have to work at your
marriage just like any other relationship.
Open communication and careful
consideration of each others feelings are two of the
emotional aspects that are key to a happy marriage. Even more mundane
details such a household
responsibilities and financial understanding can factor
into the state of the marriage. It is imperative to understand that a
marriage is a multi-faceted relationship that needs to be nurtured in
all of its capacities in order to be successful.
Being
willing to make sacrifices is one secret to a happy marriage.
Both partners in the marriage must be prepared to put their partner’s
happiness ahead of their own from time to time for the marriage to truly
work. If either partner is completely self centered and unwilling to
make sacrifices it will create resentment in the marriage. At times the
sacrifices may be big but most often it’s the smaller things that matter
most. Even preparing a dish that you don’t like but that you know your
spouse likes lets your partner know that you care and are willing to put
their happiness first at times.
While
making sacrifices is important in a happy marriage,
it is also important to sometimes do things that are just for you.
It’s great to have a lot of common interests but it’s also essential to
have some things that you enjoy doing on your own. Having some separate
activities gives you a little time away from your partner once in awhile
and gives you a chance realize how much you miss them when you are
apart. It also gives you an opportunity to explore things on your own
and prevents boredom in the relationship.
Another
secret to a happy marriage is to
maintain an intimate and affectionate
relationship. Sharing physical closeness will keep your
marriage happy. Even small gestures such as hugs or holding hands give
you the opportunity to reconnect with your spouse on a daily basis.
Finances
can cause a great deal of stress in a marriage
so it is important to do your best to ensure that you do not allow your
financial situation to destroy your marriage. When financial concerns
arise it is important to discuss the problems so that both partners are
aware of what is going on and to work on establishing a budget together.
Working together on this issue will make sure that neither partner feels
left out of the decision making process and neither partner bears the
stress of worrying about finances on their own.
Sharing
household responsibilities is another secret to a happy marriage.
If either partner feels as though they are taking on too much
responsibility in the household it can lead to resentment. Not only does
sharing these responsibilities prevent resentment but it also gives the
couple an opportunity to work as a team which strengthens their bond.
Both partners need to take an active role in completing household chores
and let their partner know if they are beginning to feel overburdened.
Open and
honest communication is also necessary
for a happy marriage. Without communication the relationship will
continually struggle. It’s important to be honest with your partner and
share your concern and to listen to what your partner has to say and
make an effort to understand their point of view. Communicating about
problems and concerns is important but it’s also important to
communicate about your aspirations and even your daily lives. All of
these types of communication bring a couple closer together and foster a
happy marriage.
Along the
lines of open communication, it’s also important that you
let your partner know if they have said
or done some thing to hurt you. Failure to do so will
allow the problem to continue to cause problems in the marriage. If you
bottle up your feelings your partner will be unaware of what they have
done to hurt you and may be likely to repeat their actions. You also may
begin to avoid your partner because you are angry and you don’t want to
start a confrontation. Your partner in turn may sense you behaving
differently and be annoyed by your behavior. Simply coming out and
telling your partner why you are upset can help
you avoid this unnecessary host of problems.
Understanding that you
and your partner won’t always be in complete agreement
is also critical to a
happy marriage. While you may agree on a lot of things it’s unrealistic
to believe that you and your partner will be in sync at all times. Its
okay to disagree sometimes as long as you respect each other’s feelings
and beliefs and do not think that any one disagreement will be the end
of the relationship.
Spontaneity is also an
important part of a happy marriage. Allowing yourselves to fall into a predictable
pattern can lead to boredom but being spontaneous at times will prevent
boredom from setting in and keep the relationship interesting.
Finally,
remembering why you married your spouse
is one of the most important secrets of a happy marriage. Always
remembering what it is about your partner that drew you to them will
make certain that you never forget your love for your partner. It will
also ensure that they are always beautiful in your eyes. Many things may
change throughout the course of your marriage but the one thing that
will always remain is the reason you fell in love in the first place.
A happy marriage is not
guaranteed no matter how much the partners love each other. There are so
many variables that can have an affect on the happiness and success of
the marriage. It is important that both partners realize that they must
continuously work on all of these aspects if they want their marriage to
remain a happy and healthy relationship.
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